B-more Lovin'

¡Hola amigos!

Apologies for the radio silence on our end. As usual, we got caught up in that rough and tumble thing called life for a bit. We guess this means a few updates:

• Celia has been on a number of dates through OkCupid but other than coffee, dancing, and an awkward trip to a sex shop, nothing has really come of them.
• Xun, to date, hasn’t been on any “dates” outside the relationship but that hasn’t stopped him from meeting some cute girls on a recent business trip out west. His OkCupid profile has been revamped but remains largely visited by men, much to our dismay.
• The big news: While Xun was out of town, Celia went home with someone! And there was intimacy! So we guess that makes us officially non-monogamous. Or something. It did cause a little bit of a rough patch but we talked it out and things seem to be back to normal. Keep an eye out for upcoming posts from each of us giving our perspective on it.
• The other news is that Xun gave his consent (after originally withholding it) for Celia to pursue Asher. We’ll see where it goes since Asher and Xun are old friends.
• In life outside the relationship, graduation is ever looming for Celia. She is still on the job hunt and if she stays in Baltimore, will (hopefully) be living with Xun.

~ X + C

Xun and I both maintain active OkCupid accounts. I personally don’t take it very seriously and am not interested in meeting people in person unless we’ve had a decent amount of online correspondence beforehand.  A few weeks or so ago, a fellow named Jamal started messaging me. As per usual, I didn’t take it very seriously at first. He seemed a little too forward for someone I’d be interested in meeting in person.

However, after awhile I realized he was pretty intriguing and we had a lot of common interests. I asked if I could add him on Facebook (a good way to stalk someone out further to see if you want to meet them in person), but he said he “only added people after getting to know them.” Red flag alert! Nine times out of ten, this means someone has something to hide. He eventually came clean that even though he’s listed as “single” on OkCupid, he actually has a girlfriend in his home country.

I eventually decided it’d be worthwhile to meet him in person so long as things stayed platonic. We went to a café last week and had a really good conversation. He was quite charming and fun to talk to. I talked to him a lot about Xun, and he seemed really interested in our open relationship. We’re going dancing tomorrow night.

I decided (and told Xun) that I’m drawing the line where any physical affection would come into play. No kissing, no cuddling. I’m being very skeptical of him a.) because he falsely advertised himself as being single and b.) because he told me that his girlfriend was a jealous person and apparently keeps a lot of things secret from her.

One of the number one bits of advice I picked up in reading about polyamory is to be wary of dishonest people. I plan on following said advice and keeping Jamal in the friend zone for now.

-Celia

Xun here. As I stated in my introductory post, I was introduced to the idea of nonmonogamy by Celia. Before that, I was by all accounts monogamous. My last two relationships had been monogamous and I was fully expecting the rest of my relationships to be as well. Even now, I would say that I am more on the side of monogamy than nonmonogamy (I hope that will change over time).

So why am I even doing this? Why leave the comfort of my emotional home to venture out into the world of alternative relationship styles? Join me after the break to find out!

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